I have been in a dormant season where my spirit has required rest. Like a frozen tree in winter, it rests to rejuvenate to bring new growth in the spring and let the dead branches break off.
I’ve experienced a painful reopening of a traumatic wound from my youth that never healed. This festering wound spread the spiritual infection to my other unhealed wounds. It hurt so badly. So many pain filled tears have been shed.
I had so many conversations with Jesus of why did this happen. What's wrong with me? It has taken me months to overcome those feelings and thoughts. Literal months. I felt frozen where I was, just like this beautiful tree from my front yard. I felt like I had stumbled in my walk with Christ and could not get up to keep going. It was a heartbreaking time.
But I have recently received comfort in this
I thank you Jesus for saving me from my pit of torment bringing light into my darkness.
"Walking away from something familiar and comfortable and into the unknown is easily by far, not the easy path. Not even when we know there is hope and healing on the other side. The healthy choice can hurt like heck, whether we are leaving people or habits or both. It can be painful tearing away." - a quote from She Is Clothed In Strength and Dignity.
The beautiful thing about the season of being frozen with frost on my branches is to rest so I can gather my strength for the new growth that is coming in the spring. This rest Jesus has pulled me through, refining me even more through the crushing and pressing I've experienced.
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body.
2 Corinthians 4:7-12"
In this season of rest, My main ministry focus is my children and my husband. For now, that is enough. When Jesus has pruned off my dead branches that no longer bear fruit, I will have beautiful new growth because I have abided in the vine like in John 15:5. Thank you Jesus for your word for me to hear, read, to lament over, pray over and to confer. Thank you Lord for the people who have encouraged me through this very dark season.
~ Meagan Renaud ~