How do you Love
Today is valentines day. Some of you may have dreaded it and had nightmares featuring “Valentine is coming” by the Kabusa Oriental choir. For others, you may have been looking forward to the possibility of gifts from a secret or known admirer. For those in relationships, you may have had an opportunity to go on a date or do something special together. I used to dislike the commercial aspect of the whole thing.
I am not particular about Valentine’s day. God loves me everyday and I believe it is my commission to show love everyday. I do understand the value of allocating a name to the season and providing opportunities to celebrate love. But, I also believe the best kind of love to celebrate is Jesus’ love.
My thoughts today have circled around the multitude ways Jesus showed/shows love. For some it meant having a conversation and making them feel recognized (Zacchaeus and as he went along recruiting his disciples). For others it meant healing them (the blind man and so many others). For others it was giving them assurance about the future (the disciples). And for some it meant feeding and sharing a meal (feeding the multitude with 5 loaves and 2 fish and the feast with the disciples). There are so many lessons to unpack from the love story of Jesus.
I know that love is a touchy subject. Sometimes my love for people causes me to go overboard with the way I show love. Thankfully, I have a significant other that’s very cautious and believes in moderation so I have help in this area.
Here are 3 ways I love (I want to retain some mystery) and some lessons I have learned:
Giving gifts: I love to unintentionally stumble on something and think of someone that would appreciate it. I have given gifts randomly and it’s simply because I saw the item and thought of the individual. I also love shopping intentionally to get a gift for someone. I usually ask “what would I want for myself?” or “what would this person value?”. What have I learned? I have learned (from my mum) not to give as much to people who are not givers themselves and I need to be careful about the soil I am sowing in. I also need to work on not giving to people who are unappreciative or feel burdened because they think a gift/giving must be reciprocated.
Being helpful/Acts of service : If I see a need, my instinct is typically to fill in. I love being on the move and doing things. If I volunteer my services, I typically go all out and try my best to make sure the outcome is the best that it can be. That’s probably why I love planning events for other people especially surprises. What have I learned? Sometimes my need to be helpful can lead to exhaustion. As mentioned with giving, sometimes the recipient may not be right.
In essence, love requires wisdom. So as you love, seek wisdom from Wisdom who happens to be the best lover ever! Jesus is love. Jesus is God’s wisdom.
Please note that my top love language is neither of the two above but I do value both hence, I am glad I can show love through both mediums.
How do you show love and what lessons have you learned?
I would love to hear from you!
~ Oluwatomisin Oyegoke ~
*Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash