The time is 4:20 am and God has me awake and pondering a great many things in this crazy and weird time…….. I thought I would share them with you.

For the later part of June, I had been working on my son’s wood loft bed. I received the wood from my father in law, who put the work into taking apart an old abandoned house that was gifted to him, to use for parts. I only needed to take out the staples and nails, cut to size for the first part of my project.

This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.

Most boys and many girls see body builders and admire the wash board abs and ripped physique and desire it. Most young boys spend time flexing in the mirror when no one is looking desiring to be buff but most do not spend the time and effort required to get there.

Comparison is extremely destructive. It leads to self-depreciation, self-rejection and depression. If you focus on what you are not, what you do not have, who you are not, then you devalue who God actually made you to be.

My first prayer experience was a cry for “HELP”. I was desperate for help in our marriage. Health and finances were fine but both of us were unhappy, yet too stubborn to get a divorce.

I am a chronic overpacker! For a weekend trip, best believe that I’m going to be packing a variety of shoes and a ton of clothes! I even come up with worst-case scenarios in my mind and convince myself that those things deserve to come with me.

The Covid- 19 isolation has given me an opportunity to reflect. Over my 70+ years I have face a number of challenges which, at the time seemed to be a crisis: therefore I faced many “new normals”.

If I am being honest if I could describe my life in one word right now it would be chaos. If I were given the opportunity to describe it in two words, it would be complete chaos. I will admit, the past ten weeks have not exactly been a walk in the park. Some days – well- most days I find myself sitting on my couch pondering to myself when will ‘this’ all be over.

My first experience with praying and proclaiming the Word and the will of God was in response to a challenge from my mother. I was complaining to her about this man God had given me. I thought God had tricked me and given me a “dud”. She challenged me to speak life over him and not death. She said, “stop speaking what you see and start speaking what God sees.

One of the first experiences I can remember of praying God’s word and proclaiming his promises was over our children and our home. Our daughter had been experiencing night terrors. For months she would scream in her sleep, crying and thrashing in her bed. We would pray over her many times in night. The terror would stop only to reoccur 30 minutes later.

About ten years ago I had to admit to myself that truly I was NOT enjoying my prayer life. If I was going, to be honest, I’d say my prayer life felt a bit like a Barnum and Bailey’s Circus performance. It was the same “performance” every day, the same words, verses and some quotes that I’d heard other people say thrown in for good measure. It was a good show but the same show every day.

As one who came to faith in Christ after years of apathy, skepticism, and dabbling in a smorgasbord of other beliefs, I have a particular affection for those who ask the tough questions, just as I too once started asking, and whom are looking for genuine, honest answers.

When I was a child, I remember having a burden for many friends at school. I wanted them to know Jesus. I was pretty vocal about being a Christian, but I remember the Lord impressing on my heart to pray for them. I wrote about 15 names in my diary along with all the members of my family and begin to pray every day for their salvations and for any needs I knew they had, mainly healing.

Everyday, I spoke these verses over myself and still do to remind myself of the God who is forever faithful. To say that my experience in this new city was rich is painting it lightly. It was above and be- yond! God truly opened my eyes to see His plans and purposes for my life and His church. In addition, I made relationships that continually alter the way I see life and treat people.

The first time that I remember praying and standing on God’s word was when I was praying for my husband Morris. We were planning on getting married, we had been living together for 3 years and I had re-dedicated my life to the Lord. I knew that we could no longer live together but I also knew that I wouldn’t marry him unless he accepted Jesus as savior.

For years I had a flower bed on the west side of my house that I called my Bermuda Triangle, because, like its namesake in the Caribbean Sea, mysterious things seemed to happen there. When I first bought the place, the flower bed on the east side of the front stoop grew an exuberant and eclectic mix of creamy yarrow, pink and red hollyhocks, yellow creeping jenny, a few wild oats and an unnamed white-flowering shrub.

 Many years ago our church launched a building program, fundraising for essential structural repairs and a much-needed addition. This was exciting for me because I knew the benefit to our growing church but as our congregation was being encouraged to give sacrificially, we wrestled with what that meant for us, tithing but living paycheque to paycheque.

 When the church announced the exciting news about the building and upcoming renovations, we both looked forward to helping the church enter this new chapter.  Therefore, when we heard a special offering was going to be taking place, we both sought God for what we would give.  We wanted to give an extravagant offering.

It began as an ordinary day of looking after a toddler and a preschooler, but quickly soured when I realized we were down to the last few squares of toilet paper and still had two days until payday. Suddenly, it felt like I’d been self-sacrificing for a very long time and I just couldn’t bear it anymore.